Becky Tirabassi of Change Your Life Daily was our special guest on our NACWE expert call recently, and she shared four stages of pain, that are the core of her company, books, speaking, and coaching.
Becoming knowledgeable about these four stages can help you in your relationship with your clients who are hurting – and they also help you to identify – and heal – your own areas of pain.
The four stages of pain are:
- Awareness. Do you hide bottles of alcohol? Are you hiding a book inside of you? Are you being quiet when you need to speak and hiding your talents and gifts from the world who needs them? Often it takes hitting rock bottom before you break through denial to awareness. You must become motivated, and say, “I’ve had enough! My life isn’t working!” The spiritual context of this awareness is repentance – godly sorrow. (2 Corinthians 2:10) You must turn your body, heart, and mind 180 degrees. What area of your life needs repentance? Where in your business do you need more awareness? What do you need to change?
- Admission. It can take years to get sober or to overcome a drug addiction, shopping addiction, food addiction. If you’re an alcoholic, you must admit, “I’m an alcoholic. I can’t drink ever again.” If you have a problem, admit it, say it. We must ask for help from others. In business, we need to realize we can’t do this alone. Tell others, “I need help, please!” Don’t try to do everything yourself and burn out.
- Have a daily written, action plan. Take all those ideas in your head, the lists, dates, times, appointments, people you need to meet, bills you must pay, books and articles to write, presentations. Write it down. You have to fight your inability to be disciplined. The daily action plan helps you to be disciplined. It’s important to write it down because it forces you to get things done!
- Have accountability. It’s important to have lifelong accountability. An alcoholic can never drink – no alcohol in the home, no drinks at dinners or parties, no special occasions. It’s a red flag if you don’t want accountability. You’d rather relapse rather than be called out – you’d rather be late with a bill, than get to the post office because you’re feeling tired at the end of the day. Accountability forces us to be successful. Find people to whom you can be accountable on a regular basis about your spiritual life, your family, your relationships, your business.
Understanding these four stages of pain and the recovery process is helpful to all of us, especially entrepreneurs. Slogans like “One day at a time,” “Surrender,” “Let go and Let God” are great mottos for running our businesses successfully.
Becky Tirabassi speaks to men, women, and students on a variety of topics including prayer, leadership, balanced living, mentoring and parenting. She frequently appears on television and radio empowering people with her dynamic message of how to live disciplined lives in the current “out-of-control” culture.Visit Becky at www.ChangeYourLifeDaily.com