Is a Boss Automatically a Leader?


Paula4qualitiesHave you ever had a rotten boss? I mean the kind that just should not be leading? The kind who maybe gets your name wrong every time, or the kind of boss who hides behind an office door. I had one just like that. He was the principal of an elementary school, but you could tell he did not like children. He did not even really like teachers—or teaching, for that matter! Yet, there he was leading us.

Lucky for me, I had a good team. It was my first year teaching, one year out of college and even some experience under my belt. I knew, though, that this man was no leader. He could not remember his teachers’ names, let alone any of the students. He was not really respected at the school, because he never came into the classrooms! He somehow even delegated the job of observations and lesson plans to a Curriculum Coordinator who actually interacted with us. He was a far cry of a leader; everyone knew it. “How did he ever become principal?” I often wondered.

When you think of the word leader, what do you think of? I think of Jesus—someone who gets in with the people, someone who feels the pain of the people. A leader is someone who helps and guides and prays for his/her people. A leader is confident (yet, not over powering), stern, and gentle. Good leaders are really in the business of serving others.

When you interact with people in your business, you may not think of yourself as a leader like Jesus, but think of this quote on leadership from John Quincy Adams: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, and become more, you are a leader.” I like that image. I believe all of us have the potential to be a leader, and some of us have the potential to be GREAT leaders if we so choose. It is a choice. How do you see yourself as a leader in your business? Do you have the courage to be a great leader?

Courage is defined as a noun, but it is very much an adjective…an action word. You have to put action to it for it to be effective! One of the best pictures I have seen describing this came from Brene Brown. She points out four qualities of a courageous leader:

  1. Ask for what you need. Even leaders need help! Just ask—it’s biblical!!
  2. Speak your truth. Share with people what you know—it helps them and you.
  3. Own your story. When you share your story, people respect you for being real.
  4. Set boundaries. This seems very hard, but this, too, is biblical!
  5. Reach out for support. We are designed to be in community. Get help to be and do better!

Matthew 7:8 paints this picture the best. It’s a great representation of a healthy way to show courage. "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

Even if you work by yourself, you are a leader. You (should) have a community around you that you are reaching out to and serving. In order to gain trust and respect as a leader, you can always learn more. Use helpful resources around you to make yourself a better leader. As a NACWE member, you have this built-in community to learn from. A wise person gets it. Proverbs 16:16 states, “How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver!” Do you choose understanding over gold or silver? I do, because what good is having tons of gold if I’m dong nothing good with it?

If you ask me, the biggest thing that my first boss lacked was the fact that he did not seem to understand the qualities of a leader, and that was why he wasn’t respected. But, what did I know at 23 years old? You are not automatically a leader; you become a leader.

PTobeyPaula Tobey is a Healthy Living Coach for Parents, Speaker and Founder of PheMOMenal Life. Paula works with moms who are looking to put balance back into their hectic lives. Her inspiration for living a healthy lifestyle came as a mission from God and she is living proof it can be done one baby step at a time focusing on the five areas of health.  She is a former special education teacher, mother of two great girls, and a water and nature lover. Learn more about Paula at​.

7 Sanity Savers for Organizing Your Life as a Work-at-Home Entrepreneur


home-office-336377_640Do you feel like you are in a constant state of chaos? You can’t have anyone over to your house without first cleaning, which could take you hours. You then realize that you don’t really have a routine for work life similar to your home life. Then, you start to think about all of the laundry and how to generate more hours in a day to get it all done. Have you ever wondered if this could be a problem? Then this article is for you!

Providing organized structure for your business at home is one of the best things you can do to feel successful and get more work done! Whether it is tackling blog posts or needing help around the house, nothing gets the job done faster than a plan!

The tips that I give parents as a parent coach are the ones that most parents tend to struggle with and come up most frequently as a “work-at-home mom.” Organizational problems affect many people, so the following tips are sure to help bring peace to your home and to your business!

1. Provide as much structure to your family life as possible. Home “routines” are the best way to get things done and get you ready to “start work.” List routines by the hour or task, breaking down the steps to manageable pieces. Also, consider Time Blocking as a strategy. While you take a lunch break, pop in a load of laundry!

2. List out your tasks for the day. Whether they are related to your biz, or you are making calls to the insurance company, use a simple check list so you can cross off the items that are complete! It feels great to know how much you got done.

3. Keep distractions to a minimum. I put my puppy outside during the day, check Facebook only at certain times, and turn off alerts or other things that keep me from staying focused. I also have found a safe and natural essential oil that is amazing for concentration and focus. I apply that when I need to write or do my business planning.

4. Color Code or label your family calendar to keep appointments, activities and work projects organized. Another idea is to look into classes or webinars for better organizing. You would be amazed at the ideas on Pinterest alone for getting your home and business organized!

5. Do not over book yourself. One lesson I have learned as a work-at-home mom with two school-aged daughters is that everything goes more smoothly with more time. When I over-plan and cram things in, we all get stressed. Keep it simple and shine!

6. Have a system to elicit help. My kids have very structured routines before and after school as well as before bed. I have asked them to help me more by taking on responsibilities. I pay them for helping me, and this helps them feel empowered and excited. Delegation is one of those tasks that entrepreneurs need to get very good at. If you can delegate it, doing so it will save you a lot of time and energy!

7. Timers set definite boundaries. With a timer, you can give yourself certain amounts of time to get projects done, to cruise Facebook or Pinterest during lunch, or prevent you from being late with clients or calls. If I have ten minutes before I need to leave the house, and I want to check out Facebook, I have learned to set my timer. Otherwise, I’m speeding off to pick up my kiddo from dance, and when she asks why I’m late, I have to admit I was watching a cat video! OOPS! Timers can be your best friend, and every phone comes with one. You just have to remember to set it! J

The most important thing for you to remember as a “work-from-home” entrepreneur is that you have control over your time. What you do with that time is up to you. I found a simple prayer that I printed out and hung in my bathroom. As I am applying my mascara, I can look at it every day. It reminds me to pray for God to use me for His will to help others. For me, I feel confident when I do these things. I do so much more with God’s help!

PTobeyPaula Tobey is a Healthy Living Coach for Parents, Speaker and Founder of PheMOMenal Life. Paula works with moms who are looking to put balance back into their hectic lives. Her inspiration for living a healthy lifestyle came as a mission from God and she is living proof it can be done one baby step at a time focusing on the five areas of health.  She is a former special ed teacher, mother of two great girls, and a water and nature lover. For more information, visit​ or


The Cost of an Emotionally Full Account: How Much Is It Worth to Your Biz?


Were you one of those “eager-to-get-started-with-your-business” entrepreneurs who began planning for the unknown well ahead of time, preparing the books and materials, getting an office pencil drawer all cleaned out and organized—you know what I mean, right? Most people are good at that part. When it comes to the emotional part, the daily spiritual part, that gets a little bit harder, don’t you think?

There are many business owners out there who are torn as to whether or not they can afford to do different things in business, like hiring a coach or getting certified in a new area. This can be emotionally unsettling. It gets very overwhelming just thinking about it. But, if we take little steps now spiritually to prepare for the future, often it is not as hard as we think it will be.

If Ben, age 19, invested $2,000 into a fund that yielded compound interest at 8% for eight years until he is 30 years old, he would get to retire at age 65 with what would now be worth over 2 MILLION dollars! Ben only spent $2,000 8 times, and then the interest carried him the rest of the way. Those were some very important little steps he made! Boy, if all of us at 19 knew the power of investing, can you imagine how much less worrying we would have to endure in the future? Can you imagine that same kind of scenario if we involved God in our business from the get-go, if we invested in Him? He is like our interest carrier!

Like Ben’s initial $2,000, the little changes can add up to great transformations—actually, millions in his case! So, if we make a small, positive shift in our behavior with our emotional and spiritual planning, it, too, is likely to create a ripple effect of change through our business lives. If we were to try and make some small changes now—let’s say for example, praying for God to show you how to spend your money—what kind of result do you think that would leave? Would you feel worth a million bucks knowing that you are loved, cared for, and a successful businesses owner?PaulaQuote1

Let’s work on some things that can be done spiritually. Ask yourself this: what can I do to make my business a better one? What can God do if I allow Him to decide? What small steps can I take now that will have the most impact on the future? Will it be changing my routine to pray before I start work? Would it be allowing God to intervene through the day guiding my choices? Would it be asking Him to be in charge of the money? What kind of things can I do now that will have the most impact later?

I believe, with God’s help, investing emotionally in your business is what will get you there: taking the time to talk to Him and letting Him know how appreciative you are. Wouldn’t you feel like a million bucks if you had all of your emotional needs met in business?

Lastly, think about the cost of doing nothing. What kind of a situation could you end up having with your business if you do not invest that time and energy into God? Will it be worth millions then? I know mine would not—and, as a matter of fact, I would probably have gone out of business by now!

0359fbbPaula Tobey is a Healthy Living Coach for Parents, Speaker and Founder of PheMOMenal Life. Paula works with moms who are looking to put balance back into their hectic lives. Her inspiration for living a healthy lifestyle came as a mission from God and she is living proof it can be done one baby step at a time focusing on the five areas of health.  She is a former special ed teacher, mother of two great girls, and a water and nature lover. Find out more about Paula at and

Creating a CALM Life as an Entrepreneur


Is it really possible to live a stress-free and calm life full of peace? Lots of women entrepreneurs out there would tell you, “NO!” I believe a little differently, though, and it has to do with this great gift called salvation. You see, Christian women have an added bonus, which comes absolutely free and in no way costs us money! There are very few things out there for business owners that really are FREE, but this is. It’s the gift God gave to us to use not only in life, but also in our businesses. He gave us the gift of peace.

If we can remember to be calm, then we can gain peace when we are under attack, because God is by our sides. If you are facing deadlines, family matters, or obligations at church, I am sure you have felt overwhelmed. There is nothing that can bring a greater sense of peace, however, than our Father. He truly does heal our hurts, but only when we allow him!

So, how can you learn to be CALM when under pressure?

C is for Creating Peace by Praying. When we take the time to talk to the Father in prayer throughout the day, we are inviting Him in to create a space in our hearts for peace. This peace and tranquility cannot be replicated by any other force. Genuine peace is a space. . .it is a sense of joy unlike any other. It is an unconditional love that only Christ can put there. When we take the time to cultivate that time with Him, we receive the peace we are looking for.

A is for Allowing Authentic Success. Since the Lord knows all things, isn’t it fair to say He knows the desires of your heart? He knows what you long for and want. He hears your cries for comfort and for heartache to end. He knows. But do you know that He is powerless unless you involve him in the process? If you are not going to Him in prayer and petition for His will, it is very likely you won’t hear what it is you are looking for! Don’t spend time telling Him what you want; spend time asking Him to show you what He wants for you.

L is for Letting it Go. We need to learn to let go of perfectionism. It is one of the enemy’s most powerful tools. He knows how we women like to have things all pretty—tied up nice and neat with a bow on top. He uses what he can to get us off course like energy zappers, time wasters, and things to worry over. It only overwhelms us if we get caught in his trap! If we recognize it for what it is, we can easily move away. Using resources such as prayer is one of the best defenses against him! Call in some prayer warriors to join with you!

M is for Moving Ahead in Goal Setting. Since the Father already knows where you want to go and you have prayed for His will, goal setting will help you get there! There is such a wonderful feeling when you accomplish goals. Goal setting (and accomplishing) is, in my opinion, one of the best stress relievers out there. Once you do it, the stress is gone! The act of planning out a goal takes pressure off by breaking it down into workable steps. When you have the power to move ahead by setting goals and you combine that with practices of faith, you become unstoppable! Go ahead; move mountains!

Now that you have the CALM method in place, don’t you feel better? Let me know if I can help you find more peace or joy in your life. It all starts with a simple choice. I pray you choose to be calm.

0359fbbPaula Tobey is the Founder of PheMOMenal Life and is a Healthy Living Coach and Speaker. She resides in Kingwood, Texas with her husband Seth of 19 years and their two daughters, Katelyn and Hannah. When Paula is not busy with clients or volunteering at church, you can find her outside or near water. Find out more about Paula at