Drawing a Line in the Sand
This morning I woke up with my heart a little heavy. The path I am on now is one I have never travelled before. Just a brief catch up, if you don’t know my story, I’m a Registered Nurse whose job contract ended on December 31, 2011. My heart was filled with excitement back in November when my boss informed 12 of us that the company we were contracted by decided to go with another nursing company. I received such peace about this news; I knew it was going to be alright. I would launch my business fulltime.
The creative juices started flowing
My husband wasn’t working as he was preparing to take a home health coding exam to work from home as a medical coder. I knew we were looking at the possibility that neither one of us would be bringing in income to the household shortly after the New Year. My boss was able to offer us a seven-week severance package as the company who contracted us terminated the contract early.
My creative juices flowed as I wrote my business plan, continued to write, and scheduled wellness education classes and webinars. I knew my business as a Nurse Wellness/Health Coach was going to take off like Johnny Rocket after the New Year! Mike would pass his medical coding exam, and voila, we would be successfully self-employed. After all, I had been working to build the foundation of my business for several years, and Mike had worked hard to pass this certification.
The line in the sand became blurred
After the new year, I began to schedule classes. This was the easy part. I became stuck from moving forward, as I heard from friends and family who said I just needed to get a job. They said it would be easy because nurses don’t have trouble finding jobs. Suddenly the line I had drawn in the sand became blurred. Even though I had a good business coach, I began to question my ability to produce the type of income needed to pay for food and our bills.
The coding test for my husband took longer to schedule than I realized, on February 18. This test was 2 ½ hours long. I cleared the house and went to my daughter’s, so Mike could have quiet and rest on Friday and Saturday. The test proctor came to our home. Mike missed the exam by 2 points. I can’t begin to explain how deep this disappoint went inside my husband. I tried to encourage him. He gets to retake the test in 30 days.
What makes the most sense is applying for a job
This past week was no picnic for me either. Someone asked me to interview for a position with a major nursing contract company as an educator. I went through the process and even was flown to Chicago, all expenses paid, for the third and final interview. I didn’t get the job. I was relieved, but am having a hard time moving forward.
I keep finding ways around crossing that line in the sand. The one that says, NOW is the TIME! I am standing on the side of the line, where what makes the most sense is to keep applying for jobs. I feel heaviness every time I hit the “submit” button with my resume attached.
What am I waiting for?
My heart wants to cross over that line, and fear is holding me back. Does that happen to you in business? I want to work as a nurse from home, as Mike and I are praying about being in ministry again. What am I waiting for?
I want my husband to say, “Joyce, we are going to cross that line and never look back. Joyce, I believe in you so much, I know when you cross that line, you will be successful.” I’m not hearing that. I’m hearing, “Maybe you need to get a job…at least for now.”
Focus in prayer and follow God’s will
Although I have been in prayer over this situation, am I really listening for what God has for me? This next week I will be focused in prayer. I am going to listen very carefully and then I’m going to move out with God’s plan. I’ve been free all along to allow God to be in control.
Maybe there is another option to view. My heart is to be successful in those things that I believe God has purposed me to do. When I empty myself of my will and follow His will, then I will take that step and walk on the side of the line He has intended for me.
Joyce Harrell, RN, OCN is a Christian holistic nurse who provides natural solutions to common health problems. Joyce utilizes the art of nursing by implementing essential oils, enzyme therapy, vision boards, wellness coaching, and nutritional therapy to help you create an environment for your body to best heal.
Joyce is a wife, mother, nana, author, holistic healer, and above all committed to her relationship with God. You can find Joyce at www.NurseCoachOnline or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
God bless you girlfriend, I hope that you can find your place in life and be happy…….
Thank you for writing such a beautiful heartfelt article. So many women will relate to your story because we all go through seasons of change which result in disappointments. Your article will be used to strengthen & encourage MANY.
From one woman of faith to another & as iron sharpens iron – I am encouraged to remind you that Isaiah 55 speaks of the price that Jesus paid – the full price which includes our fears, disappointments, uncertainties, rejections…etc – and as chapter 56 begins which is really a continuation – we are exhorted – “So go ahead & sing you barren areas of my life, which have not yet borne, Break forth into singing & enlarge the place of your tent for you shall expand to the left & the right and the desolated places will be inhabited”.
Psalm 68:11 – The Lord gave the word and great was the company of those that publish it.
Hi Joyce: I know that feeling full well. The Lord totally took my desire to be in the pharmacy away from me. I know JesusRx is the pharmacy I am to be in. I want to hear those words too…you will be successful, people want what we have to offer. Like I was reminded today everything I do should be about the Lords will for my life. I have to remember what success is to the world, just like what wisdom is to the world is so very different from Gods definition. God Blesses us daily as his children, he can’t help himself. I envisioned people just wanting to help us, but I am seeing everything comes with a price. I will continue to lift you up, asking for people to come into your life that are directed by God. Live the joy of your salvation daily dear sister!! Some days are harder than others. Oh yes and for your husband, protection on his mind right now! You have to listen to Gods voice for your life. It’s difficult for some to accept what God says because it doesn’t line up with the Worlds Ways. (the sheep know his voice). What are you waiting for? Move ahead without fear and be blessed in ways the “world” can’t understand!!!!!!
Hang in there Joyce. I walked off the Chicago Police Dept. as a 10 year veteran with a wife and two children to start my own business. My wife and I drew a line in the sand and vowed never to fill out another job application or borrow money. Believe me we have had plenty of opportunity to go back across that line but we hung in there and refused to give in and trusted the Lord. I resigned in 1996. Today we have two successful businesses. A boutique and a Martial Arts/Personal Training studio. God Bless!
Praying for you dear one!
As I read down through your post, Esther 4:14 came to my mind, “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise for the Jews from elsewhere, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?” I don’t know what your “kingdom,” maybe…Perhaps though God is saying now is the time for you to step into the calling and promises He has for you!
Praying for clarity, strength and perserverance in the days ahead. (And for your huuby’s test in 30 days!)
Joyce I love your heart and your truth! I know that each of us totally understand that “blurred” line and when we feel like our vision can be blurred! It’s hard sometimes, to trust and continue, I know that as you fully focus on God and His will for you it will all become clear again.
I am trusting and . praying for you and lifting you up to the King of kings who has the perfect vision for you!
Thank you Kathryn! This week our church had a week of prayer and fasting. I received a whole new perspective in some areas. I’ve been an Oncology Nurse for over 13 years. While I was a manager in a cancer center, I always felt like it was more of ministry instead of “job”. I wasn’t big into the chemo because I am such a natural person. It was how I poured into the life of the patients and families that made a difference. I have 2 opportunities before me involving cancer care again. Both would allow me to make this type of difference again. Plus I can continue to grow my business. The next 2 weeks I should have an answer.
Thank you Bridgit! Actually our “kingdom” is ministry. We go to a church that talks a lot about living in the Kingdom of God. Last week was a time of prayer and fasting for our church. It was very intense as I went out to the house of God for prayer most nights.
There is at least a peace as I’m walking through, even though we don’t have all the answers yet. I guess I’ll need to be like Paul Harvey in a few weeks, and write “the rest of the story”. My article today talks a little about the time ot church of prayer and fasting.
Thanks Elliott! I am so happy for you! That is I guess what I was hoping would happen several weeks ago with my husband and myself. He didn’t have that same vision of walking together across that line. So, I guess, the verse, “can 2 walk together unless they be agreed”….sort of came to mind here for me. I am totally the entrepreneur in our family. So, what my husband is saying is that he is open to God if this is the way it’s to be in this season. But my husband is leaning more that we need to take this next year or so, and concentrate on paying off every bill we have, (becoming debt free) before we cross that line together. Although I feel I can cross that line, I am reluctant to cross without his 100% support.
It does my heart really good to hear your story. Mine is still unfolding. I’m at peace right now. But, I’ll write the follow up story as to what happens. My article today, “Fresh Oil” tells of our week of prayer and fasting at church this past week, and the spiritual things God is doing in our life.
Thank you Marjorie! God is doing an awesome work in Mike and I, and it’s extending beyond the borders of work or job, or business. Thank you so much for sharing that word! Isaiah is the very chapter that God has been using in our lives over the past 15 years. That’s another story for another day! He is expanding our borders for sure.
Thank you Mary! God is our source, and we are finding peace in the midst of many decisions to be made! We are happy and allowing God to guide and direct!
Thank you Eva! Your words inspire, and your very faith walk! Exciting! We just came off a week of prayer and fasting at church. It was amazing. God is faithful. I have peace for the next steps. I personally want to just cross over that line and not look back. My husband sees some debt we still have and feels like we need to take care of that before crossing over. I understand his concern. He’s open to crossing that line, but he feels it just isn’t quite the season yet for it. So, since we need to walk together, I may have to continue to build this business for the next year or so while we get our finances more in line. I know it’s become “not my will, but THY will, Lord” for me….