By Leigh Ann Napier, The Happy Marriage Coach
Want a happier marriage but aren’t sure where to start? Wherever you fall on the Happy Marriage scale, anywhere from giddy to downright gloomy, be assured that there are things you can do, starting today, to improve your happiness factor.
I have 7 steps to share with you.
1) Be brave enough to evaluate YOU.
We tend to want to blame other people for our unhappiness. No, your spouse is not perfect. He has issues just like the rest of us. Take a break from examining your mate and sit down with yourself, with God, and with a journal. Ask God to show you how you can add more happy to your marriage just by changing the words you speak, the thoughts you think, and the overall attitude you have towards your spouse. Remember, you are the common denominator of your life. Your self-reflection can make a HUGE impact on your marriage and all areas of your life. Don’t be afraid to take a good look at what is working and what isn’t so that you can grow from your mistakes.
2) Appreciate your mate
Again, it is easy to get caught up in what we want our spouse to do differently. In marriage, you are close enough to see the wrinkles, the flaws, and smell the morning breath! Of course you can come up with a lengthy list of what your hubbie needs to change. I challenge you to burn that list! Instead, write out all of the reasons you love and appreciate your spouse. If nothing else, be thankful that God isn’t finished working on your spouse yet. Oh, and remember, God is the only one who can work on him. So instead of nagging, start praying and you will open the door for God to work.
3) Now share what you discovered!
Now that you have all of those things you appreciate about your husband, tell him! Restrain yourself from working in all of those negative points you burned up earlier… Keep this step on the good stuff! I would recommend writing it in a letter and giving it to him so he can refer to it over and over. We all need encouragement and this is a simple way you can build him up!
4) Prioritize your time together
Great relationships don’t happen in a hurry. Spend some time thinking of ways you can spend more time together. Make time together a priority. Offer to go with him to the home improvement store or ask him if there’s anything you could do to help him. He may not come out and ask you but he wants to do things with you. You may end up at more ballgames than ballets at first but commit to spending time together and just doing life together.
5) Use that “windshield time” to dig deeper
It’s easier to talk when you have a captive audience, so whether you’re on your way to the grocery store or you are pulling weeds together, use that time to learn more about your husband. What is he excited about? What is worrying him? Ask him questions and then tell him your answers too. Never stop learning about your spouse. Ask him how you can be praying for him and let him know what he can being praying about for you too.
6) Look for ways to make his life easier
Once you know more about what he’s excited about or what worries him, think of ways you can help your husband. Pray and ask God to show you something you can do each day to help him get closer to his dreams or to lighten the stress he is under. Sometimes praying is the best thing you could possibly do for him.
7) Invest in your relationship
You can invest in your relationship by spending time on things that bless your marriage, praying for your spouse/ marriage, reading articles like this one, and by attending conferences and retreats. The Happy Marriage Virtual Conference: After the Honeymoon; Now What? digs deeper into the question: What do I do after saying I do? This October 21st Happy Marriage conference offers truth from God’s Word in a way that is easy to understand and begin applying to your marriage immediately. Why wait another day wondering what it takes to enjoy a happy marriage for a lifetime? Best of all, it’s FREE if you attend LIVE! For more information and to register, visit
You really can enjoy the man you promised to love for a lifetime! The hardest part is taking your eyes off of your spouse’s flaws and putting them on what God instructs us to work on…ourselves! You can start adding more happy to your marriage just by following these 7 steps and by inviting God to transform your marriage into a happier one, one step at a time.
Leigh Ann Napier, The Happy Marriage Coach
Need more happy in your marriage? Register today for your FREE “seat” at the Thursday, October 21st Happy Marriage Virtual Conference: After the Honeymoon; Now What? For more information and to register, visit