By Rachel Barrett-Dolcine
Recently, I have experienced some successes that I wish I could share with you. I quietly celebrated because I was afraid that my happiness would drive a wedge between us. I hate feeling this way. I hate fearing that you will not see my success as your success. After all, we are sisters. We are sisters in business. We are sisters in ministry. But most importantly, we are sisters in Christ.
As I sit here, missing you, I sink deeper and deeper into my sadness. I have always celebrated you, cheered you on, encouraged you, and held your hand when you faced your darkest times. I have cried with you, prayed with you, laughed with you, and danced with you. Your happiness was always and will continue to be my happiness.
Where did it all go wrong? When did we get to this dark passage in our friendship? Where did all the light go?
Was it the day my successes outweighed yours? After years of struggle, tearful prayers, sacrifice, and hard work, God’s favor found its way to my doorstep. I expected you to be happy for me. Instead, your face darkened, your voice got harsh, and you abruptly ended a sisterhood that I believed was forged in fire.
Forged in fire. Or, so I thought.
Did you ever think that my blessing was your blessing, too? Did you ever think that my blessing was to be shared and enjoyed by the both of us? Did you ever think that my recognition, award, and accolades were a reflection of our joint efforts to do God’s will? Did you think I would forget you? Why did you let jealousy and envy cloud your emotions? Did you realize the pain and hurt your actions would cause me?
I am your friend. I am your support. I am your prayer warrior. I am your cheerleader. I am a reflection of Christ in you. I am your sister.
The days pass by slowly, and I often wonder what life would be like if I was still living in your shadow. You would be happier and surely believe that all was right with the world. Did you ever truly believe that I had a purpose, too? I want you to know that God has a plan for my life that exceeds anything I could ever want and supersedes what you or anyone else think I could or should become. God is big enough to bless us both.
Sister, I miss you. There are times when I wish that things were different. Then, I smile and am thankful and grateful for this painful experience.
I want to thank you for turning away from me. Your jealousy has forced me to turn my eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help. Your envy has driven me into the arms of a gracious and loving God. Your harsh words have made me seek the God who mends broken hearts and heals every wound.
I forgive you. Don’t ever forget you are my sister. Forever my sister.
We will not be enemies.
Loving You Always,
Your Sister in Christ
Rachel J. Barrett-Dolcine, CEO of Compass Consulting and Training Solutions is an innovative strategist with extensive experience in training & development, nonprofit management and consulting for small business start-ups. Through its Community Giving Back Program, Compass facilitates free training classe
s and workshops for nonprofit and community organizations that are on a limited budget.
Rachel is an Adjunct Faculty member at two local community colleges, a Certified CPR/First Aid Train the Trainer Instructor, an approved Maryland State Department of Education (MSDE) Office of Childcare (OCC) Core of Knowledge Trainer. She also sits on two nonprofit boards and is the Founder of the Joseph & Vera Douglas Family Foundation.
Rachel lives in Randallstown, Maryland with her husband and son.