This morning I woke up with my heart a little heavy. The path I am on now is one I have never travelled before. Just a brief catch up, if you don’t know my story, I’m a Registered Nurse whose job contract ended on December 31, 2011. My heart was filled with excitement back in November when my boss informed 12 of us that the company we were contracted by decided to go with another nursing company. I received such peace about this news; I knew it was going to be alright. I would launch my business fulltime.
The creative juices started flowing
My husband wasn’t working as he was preparing to take a home health coding exam to work from home as a medical coder. I knew we were looking at the possibility that neither one of us would be bringing in income to the household shortly after the New Year. My boss was able to offer us a seven-week severance package as the company who contracted us terminated the contract early.
My creative juices flowed as I wrote my business plan, continued to write, and scheduled wellness education classes and webinars. I knew my business as a Nurse Wellness/Health Coach was going to take off like Johnny Rocket after the New Year! Mike would pass his medical coding exam, and voila, we would be successfully self-employed. After all, I had been working to build the foundation of my business for several years, and Mike had worked hard to pass this certification.
The line in the sand became blurred
After the new year, I began to schedule classes. This was the easy part. I became stuck from moving forward, as I heard from friends and family who said I just needed to get a job. They said it would be easy because nurses don’t have trouble finding jobs. Suddenly the line I had drawn in the sand became blurred. Even though I had a good business coach, I began to question my ability to produce the type of income needed to pay for food and our bills.
The coding test for my husband took longer to schedule than I realized, on February 18. This test was 2 ½ hours long. I cleared the house and went to my daughter’s, so Mike could have quiet and rest on Friday and Saturday. The test proctor came to our home. Mike missed the exam by 2 points. I can’t begin to explain how deep this disappoint went inside my husband. I tried to encourage him. He gets to retake the test in 30 days.
What makes the most sense is applying for a job
This past week was no picnic for me either. Someone asked me to interview for a position with a major nursing contract company as an educator. I went through the process and even was flown to Chicago, all expenses paid, for the third and final interview. I didn’t get the job. I was relieved, but am having a hard time moving forward.
I keep finding ways around crossing that line in the sand. The one that says, NOW is the TIME! I am standing on the side of the line, where what makes the most sense is to keep applying for jobs. I feel heaviness every time I hit the “submit” button with my resume attached.
What am I waiting for?
My heart wants to cross over that line, and fear is holding me back. Does that happen to you in business? I want to work as a nurse from home, as Mike and I are praying about being in ministry again. What am I waiting for?
I want my husband to say, “Joyce, we are going to cross that line and never look back. Joyce, I believe in you so much, I know when you cross that line, you will be successful.” I’m not hearing that. I’m hearing, “Maybe you need to get a job…at least for now.”
Focus in prayer and follow God’s will
Although I have been in prayer over this situation, am I really listening for what God has for me? This next week I will be focused in prayer. I am going to listen very carefully and then I’m going to move out with God’s plan. I’ve been free all along to allow God to be in control.
Maybe there is another option to view. My heart is to be successful in those things that I believe God has purposed me to do. When I empty myself of my will and follow His will, then I will take that step and walk on the side of the line He has intended for me.
Joyce Harrell, RN, OCN is a Christian holistic nurse who provides natural solutions to common health problems. Joyce utilizes the art of nursing by implementing essential oils, enzyme therapy, vision boards, wellness coaching, and nutritional therapy to help you create an environment for your body to best heal.
Joyce is a wife, mother, nana, author, holistic healer, and above all committed to her relationship with God. You can find Joyce at www.NurseCoachOnline or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.